when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
