how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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