I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
