I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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