loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
