you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
