Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
