I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
you guys were way drunker than both of me
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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