I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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