dude i'm inner monologue high
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
