brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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