escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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