The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
