I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
