Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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