Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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