these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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