I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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