apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
