no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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