That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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