So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
zippers are such a cool invention
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You are the jesus of drinking
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