guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
