She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
