loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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