Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
