Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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