Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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