are you so shy because you have an std?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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