I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize