I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
