Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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