Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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