New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
