I got chris browned last night
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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