I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
