hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
