I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
