He uses pillows to masturbate.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
We need to rekindle our bromance
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
