Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
