Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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