Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
