I cannot find my penis.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
