Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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