in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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