sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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