but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize