6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
All I want is dick and wine.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
