Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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