puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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