I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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