I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
