I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Randomize
