I have demons in me.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
