i don't like sucking hair
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
