I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
