Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
