no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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