i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
